Friday, March 16, 2012

REFLECTIONS: Long distance relationships

Its not easy maintaining a long distance relationship - with anybody - least of all with family. Our family is in three parts lately - three in Kuala Lumpur ( my husband, eldest girl and second boy); my youngest daughter and I are in Malacca and the third part - sometimes quite painful for me - my eldest boy, his wife and their little girl Sophie who are in Singapore. I have written about Sophie a number of times, about how proud I am of her, how much I miss her and wish I can see her more often. Yes, I miss my husband too - and my eldest girl but at least I see them every week or two. I have not seen Sophia for at least a month now. Singapore may not be far, it is only 4 hours away by road after all. However, distance is not what matters but time, for I am tied down by other considerations, namely Sarah my girl who is now a fresh houseman at the General Hospital in Malacca - seeing to her safety, her food and generally taking care of her. I've missed out on that when she was away studying in Russia for 6 years, so I want to be with her for a while, just mothering her.

As for Sophia, my grand daughter - it just breaks my heart when the last time I visited them in Singapore, she hugged me like she'd never let go and then asked, " Nenek, when are you going back?" So I told her, Monday and she said, counting her fingers, "We only got 3 days nenek!" Quickly her father told her - "But we are visiting nenek in March so we'll see her again,ok?"

? ?

then the impish smile came on and she said happily, "Today for dinner I'm going to sit between Nenek and Auntie Sarah!"

The next day we went to the Universal Studios where she insisted she only sat next to Auntie Sarah.

Here you can see her eating with chopsticks

( "Nenek, don't you know how to eat with chopsticks?" was her comment when I asked for a spoon and fork!)

Her imagination is boundless - her favourite topic is still Totoro, the imaginary cartoon character from a Japanese children's anime. At the Universal Studios store she was eyeing a stationary set and when I asked her whether she wanted it, said " Totoro already bought it for me! But he didn't buy me the Woody Woodpecker." She never said she wanted it, but we all knew that she did.

I try to keep in touch by phone but its a media that Sophie is not really in favor of - she has her moods - sometimes she'll talk and most times she'll just say "No," very decidely. I know that she's not being rude, just a child's way of saying, I guess. when are you visiting me!

I look forward to meeting her again next weekend when Rizal comes over to Malacca. It is just fascinating listening to her talk - better than an adult at times.

" Troy was supposed to come today you know, but he didn't manage to come at the last minute!"

Even my university students wouldn't be able to put together such words - didn't manage to come at the last minute! Where on earth did she pick up such sophisticated language I wonder. From her mum probably. And lastly here is a picture of her drawing - sent to us by her mum via Fb:

Sophia's masterpiece

Explanation for the above - "That's daddy with me, and the? centre one is our apartment. The two cats are not ours - Pixel is too fat so I put him behind? . The two women is Jonah and her friend"

"Where's mummy in the picture?"

"Mummy is not in the picture - you are in the office. Today Daddy is with me."

Source: http://unspokensilences.blogspot.com/2012/03/long-distance-relationships.html

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